More Hair

I got a comment on the last post saying they thought I was going somewhere else with the title. I actually had intended to eventually address the 'other' hair issue, but now seems like a good enough time!

And if you don't know what I mean by the 'other' hair issue, then you're a) an idiot, b) too young to be reading this, or c) on the wrong blog.

This has been something that I was forced to make a conscious decision about not too long ago. I had gone through the majority of my (post-pubescent) life bald down there, and completely happy about that fact. I never had any complaints... until I started seeing a certain SD.

This SD really hated it, and wanted me to let at least a little (and preferably a lot) grow out. I tried. I really really did. But I hated it. To me, it just feels uncomfortable, plus so many of my lingerie sets simply look ridiculous with hair!

So, I went back to bald, and haven't regretted it for a minute. It's what's in style right now (look at any porno or lad mag), it's most comfortable, and it's the safe bet. The majority of guys at the least won't mind having no hair to deal with, and lots will actually like it, a lot.

So, go shave or make an appointment with your local waxing salon.

The Age Gap

As my tag-line reads, my SDs have all been at a minimum twice my age. It has spoiled me a bit, and now even in my dating life I can't stand the boys my age. I go up at least five years before I even consider a guy.

I've become comfortable around older men. Perhaps even more comfortable than I am with younger men. I'm not talking about men my grandfather's age, or really even my father's age, but men in their 40s or so.

But now I have a new potential who falls outside of that range. A new potential who is intelligent, witty, attractive, and an all around nice guy.

He's 32.

And I honestly see that as a drawback. Strangely enough, I feel less comfortable than if he were 42 or 52. I know what those men want and expect (or I like to think I do!). With this potential, I feel off-balance.

He's young enough to fall into my dating pool, and I think that may be what is most off-putting for me. I want to like my SD, but I don't want to have to worry about it becoming more, emotionally for me.

What's a good SB to do? Be careful, like with everything else in this crazy world!

Varying degrees of SBs

There are different types of SBs for all different types of SDs needs!

There are the girls who go to events, dinners, parties, and then back to the SDs condo for some fun.

Then the girls who meet in the middle of the day at different hotels with their married SDs. Ordering in room service and chatting on the bed before getting down to bid-ness. ;)

Or there are the girls who meet their SDs in private, at their place, at his place, or at a hotel for some quick fun.

I think all of these variations can be called an SB, and they often blend together based on different factors. At different points I've been a different type! I prefer the second option, but as I've gone farther in my college career that has become increasingly difficult. It is usually the most in-demand type, from what I've seen.

Another type is the travel SB, who either travels because her SD lives far away, or goes along with him on trips for business and pleasure. I've only done this a couple of times, but boy is it fun!

Money Honey

So, I had a great question from Allie (hope it's ok to link to you!). She asked just what the financials of this sort of arrangement are.

I have two answers, one is from my personal experience, and the other is pure hearsay.

Personally, I've the top range I've experienced was over $5,000 a months. Every time I saw him, he had an envelope with $1,000 in cash and he paid a couple of my bills. We normally saw each other 2-3 times a month for an hour or two on his lunch break at a nice hotel.

My average though has been around $2,000 or $3,000 a month. Granted, I have a limited schedule, and that really affects how much a potential is willing to shell out!

From what I've had potentials offer, it seems the average is less than that. Most guys on the sites see it as 'bulk-buy' prostitution (as I've mentioned before). Very often they talk about picking up a bill or two, which usually means less than $1,000 a month.

Now, for the hearsay part. From talking with a couple of girls and from what I see posted on the sites, I think I've been pretty lucky. Very few girls get less than the couple of bills paid that I mentioned before. In fact, very few girls seem to get to the stage where bills are being paid. To start, most SDs just give an envelope with whatever until they feel more comfortable that this will be a longer-term arrangement.

Also, location has a lot to do with it. I live in a big city, and so there are more SDs and I can afford to be picky. If a girl lives in a less populated area and can't travel much then she won't have many options.

From My Diary

I've decided to do a direct post from my diary of the first time I met my favorite SD, J.

'So I met J yesterday, but before I talk about him I have to talk about the hotel where we met.

A doorman pushed the revolving door for me so I wouldn't even have to touch it! There was a small entryway, very dark, classy, where I walked up to the front desk. They directed me to a bank of elevators.

A bellman led me to the elevators, pushed the button for me, an said 'Have a good day' as the doors opened.

I stepped out into a grand hallway, which I followed to the Lobby. I was so nervous that everything seemed strange, blurry, distant. The lobby was a huge room 5-6 stories up, with an alcove tucked up a floor over the whole room with a cellist playing. A cellist! In the middle of the day! I'm still in awe of everything I saw.

J was no where to be seen, so I ducked into the ladies room. Even the towels looked luxurious. I texted him quickly, and he said he was only a minute away. I composed myself and walked out of the bathroom.'

I'll post more tomorrow! Just wanted to give a sense of what that moment right before feels like.

My First Time Having Sex for Money

I mentioned my first meeting before here and here.

I did end up seeing M again, quite soon after that meeting. Luckily I didn't scare him away with my inexperience and inebriation!

We met at the same bar again, and each had a drink. He had been to the doctor's office earlier in the day, so we talked about his sports injury. I originally thought he would have to cancel because he had been through minor surgery in the office that day, but he was insistent that we meet anyway.

Almost the second we stepped through the door of his condo we were at it. We had the quick mumbled convo about birth control (pill and condoms!) and before I knew it I was naked, laying across his bed!

Please keep in mind how terribly, terribly inexperienced I was at this point in my life! This is certainly not what I consider an 'ideal' meeting!

He went down on me, something I had never before experienced (ahem, college guys suck at sex). I didn't know what to do, and honestly was a bit uncomfortable. When it was my turn to reciprocate I was relieved.

M was average sized, nothing extraordinary, but certainly not disappointing. The sex was average as well, lasting perhaps 5 minutes, in missionary.

We talked for a while after. I was a bit inebriated (again). He asked if I'd ever thought about getting implants. I responded that if they ever find a way to make implants pain-free I'll be first in line! Until then, there's no way I'd ever agree to unnecessary pain. I have very low pain tolerance.

We got dressed, and he walked me out. In the elevator he handed me an envelope, and said he hoped it was enough. We hadn't discussed money at all beforehand. He joked that it was probably the easiest money I'd ever make, and I nervously laughed with him.

Certainly not a terrible first time, however I learned a lot from it (when I sobered up).

Funny note: When I got home 20 minutes later I ran into a friend on my way into my building. She grabbed me and made me go out for a snack with her and a bunch a friends. The whole time all I could think was 'Please dear god don't let them figure out that I'm tipsy... or notice the economy pack of condoms in my bag!' I got away with it somehow!

Belle de Jour

Belle de Jour, the up-until-yesterday anonymous ex-call girl who wrote tons of books about her experiences, has always been an idol of mine.

I read her first book when I was in high school. It sat on my shelf after that for a few years before I moved to college. As I was packing up, I sat and re-read a couple of my favorite parts. I eventually found out that it was originally a blog. I read the entire thing in just a couple of days. Belle seeped into my consciousness. She's part of the reason I first decided to sign up for one of the sites, but that's another post.

The Times wrote a great article about Belle, at least in my opinion. She outed herself, although there were certainly reasons why she did it now (ex-boyfriend, press catching on). I hope that the paps don't ruin her life. I think the best possible outcome would be that now all the mystery is over, everyone gets bored and leaves her alone.

It's very motivating to me to see someone like Belle, who has a PhD and is doing amazing work for kids with cancer. It makes me realize that so long as I don't let myself get pulled in too far, this can all be just a bit of fun, and when I want to move on I can. Certainly Belle is going to face some negative consequences, but I have no plans on becoming famous like her or to write a book. This blog is really more for myself to keep track of my thoughts than anything else.

So, best of luck to Belle/Brooke! I'm glad to finally know who she is after all these years, but I never wished for her to be forcibly exposed. I hope that her decision to come out now is for the best and that she never regrets anything!

Hello Darlings!

I've been gone for a while. Just needed to sort things out. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't been and active SB for nearly a year. However, all that is changing.

I'm back on the prowl!

So, I will be posting again, hopefully fairly frequently, all about my new search for the perfect SD. I already have quite a few potentials lined up, and can't wait to tell you about them!

Special Things

I think a big part of what I do as an SB is remember special little things that the men I see like.

One man is permanently over-hydrated, so I always make sure that before he arrives I set out a glass of water.

Another guy is really into earrings. I always make sure to wear a different, new pair for him. He likes to lick and play with them.

Another guy is really into his nipples. I have never experienced this before, but he can actually come from nipple-play alone! I've gotten really good with mens nipples thanks to him!

Or there's the guy who just wants me to give him a hand job until he comes across my stomach. For him I make sure that I have a towel close by.

There was another guy who always seemed to be hot, so I would sacrifice my own personal comfort and turn down the temperature any time I saw him.

For all the guys, after I see them I write down what we talked about so I remember for the next time and can ask questions about their jobs and children.

These are things that I just picked up on. The SDs didn't tell me that they like earrings, or nipple play, I just figured it out and made it a special thing for him. I think that's a huge part of what an SB does.

I'm a safety kinda gal

Safety is huge for me. If I get a funny feeling about a guy, I cancel. I avoid risks, because meeting SDs is risky, just like any type of online dating.

One guy who I was talking to set off some major alarm bells when we were setting up our first meeting. He asked if I wanted to meet at his condo for a drink before dinner. I said I preferred to meet at the restaurant instead. He seemed cool about it at first.

Then he starts telling me about how he thinks it's great when a girl is confident enough to just go over to a guys place before meeting him. He said he thought it showed that she was cool and really interested in him.

I was stunned. Personally, I think that any girl who does that is an idiot just asking for trouble. Clearly he doesn't actually intend to make it to dinner when he's already got you in his condo drinking wine.

I ended up canceling on him. He eventually agreed to meet me at the restaurant, but I still wasn't comfortable after having had that conversation with him. Also, he lived very close to me. Even though it's a big city, it still made me a bit nervous!

Pavlov's Dog

So, this isn't really about being an SB. You've been warned!

I've been seeing my current boyfriend for a couple of months now. We are very sexually active! As with all new guys, I had to get used to some of the things he likes to do.

I wasn't really into neck kissing, but it seems to be one of his favorite things to do. At first, I was just happy that he wasn't leaving any marks (major turn-off!).

Well, the last time he and I were together, when he started kissing my neck, all of a sudden I felt different. I felt a rush of wetness! I was enjoying it!!

I have to wonder now though if I was actually enjoying the neck kissing, or if it was simply that after a couple of months of neck kissing leading to more fun things, my body responded just as Pavlov's dogs responded to the bell.

Te only reason I thought of this is because the story of Pavlov was used as an example in class the other day. I'd rather think that I am actually just becoming more comfortable with him and having sex with him, and that is leading to me being more turned on.

I'm Sorry!

I love when men apologize after sex. OK, not really, because I never have any idea what to say. But afterwards, when I'm back home alone, I always have a good laugh over it. It's always for some perceived inability; not keeping it hard, not going long enough.

He's not an SD, but my current boyfriend apologized once for his lack of stamina...after going for 25 minutes! With him I actually laughed right then and there and told him just how silly he was being! Granted, he does normally go longer, but 25 minutes is certainly nothing to be ashamed of!

With an SD though I do find it a bit ridiculous. You should never feel the need to apologize for anything, let alone for something like that, where to be honest I usually am happy if you finish a little faster than normal.

One SD came after maybe 5-7 minutes and after he caught his breath apologized for it being so short. "Normally I can go a lot longer, but I had minor surgery on my throat this morning, and I think I am still a bit woozy from the meds." The fact that you were able to get it up at all should be a triumph! Don't apologize!!

And, of course, I mentioned earlier about Mr D, who apologized after his little bout of food poisoning-induced diarrhea caused us to have to call it quits. I still got money, and I got to bed a lot earlier than I had planned on! No complaints from my end!

The hardest part is what to say! I don't want to sound like I'm lying by over-doing it, but I also can't rightly say 'trust me honey, it wasn't doing much for me anyway.' I wish there was a perfect answer for this!

Married Men Tips and Tricks

With married SDs I really have to be careful. I don't mean that I have to worry about my safety. I have to worry about doing anything which might alert their wife to their extramarital activities.

The biggest rule is to never wear perfume! This is a dead give-away. This includes everything from my favorite Jo Malone spray to scented body lotion. I have found the greatest unscented lotion ever, and it sits next to my regular lotion ready for my married SD to call.

Another thing to be careful about is leaving any sort of mark during sex. I don't normally leave marks during sex, but it is still something to keep in mind!

Discretion is key. Most married SDs want to meet during the day at hotels (I don't bring SDs to my place). This means I book the hotel, I check in, and then I text him with the room number. All he has to do is knock on the door! When we leave, it's up to him how careful he wants to be. Some want to leave at seperate times, whereas with my one long-term SD we went down in the elevator together, but then seperated. I had to check out at the front desk, and he had to get his ass into a cab and back to work asap!

Texting is prefered over calling. He can get back to me whenever is most convienient for him. I also only call or text during work hours, and certainly never on weekends.

Sometimes I do get angry

I always try my best to stay calm about everything to do with the SD world. These guys have specific things they want, and if I'm not it I'm not going to get upset about it. I've been told many times by potentials that I am not what they want, and I've always been cool about it.

Then you get assholes like this guy. Let's call him D for douche. He sends me a one sentence email, so I email him back, asking questions and cracking a joke. When I took the time to look closer at his profile I realized there was no way he was the age he said he was, and I simply am not comfortable with men over a certain age.

He emailed me back pretty quickly, asking to see pictures. I decided to be polite and not leave him hanging so I wrote:

"Thanks for the message. I actually looked a bit closer at your profile and I don't think we are looking for the same thing. Thanks though, and best of luck!!"

He almost immediately writes back, accusing me of being one of many hookers who 'clog up this site' and added 'thanks for wasting my time.'

I understand where he might have gotten that because his profile specifies that he is not looking for a 'hooker,' but he should have read my profile where I specify that I am not a prostitute.

He blocked me so that I couldn't respond, so I became frustrated and a little angry! He miss-represented himself (his age) and so I am not interested. I honestly think what bothers me most is that he said I wasted his time. I try to be polite and considerate by letting him know I wasn't interested, and get slammed for it.

Oh well.

Going Down... Yeah, There

I'm not a big fan of guys going down on me. I mentioned it in a previous post, so I thought I should clarify. Don't get me wrong, I'm not self-conscious down there, and I don't hate my vagina by any means! Call me sick, but I also happen to really enjoy going down on guys. They never seem to believe me. All those girls out there who complain about it ruin it for the rest of us!

Really, it just comes down to the fact that I am not going to come from you licking my clitoris, and guys just don't seem to understand that. They just keep going and going and going like freaking Energizer Bunnies. At some point it stops feeling good and starts to be really uncomfortable!

Sure, I could just tell the guy to stop, but then they get this puppy-dog look like 'I wasn't good enough to get you off?' It's not that you're not good enough, it's just that it's not going to happen. It's just so much easier to fake it and get to see the big grins on their faces when they come back up to kiss me.

On top of that there's all the noise I need to make. I'm not a loud person when I come. I normally am perfectly still and completely silent, but that's not what guys want. The bad thing is that I am pretty loud when I'm actually being pounded into, so guys expect that all the time. So I have to lay there and moan and writhe and tell the guy just how good everything feels.

Here's the thing. Having you lick and flick and poke around down there doesn't feel nearly the same as having you slamming into me. Yeah, I'm going to moan and scream and whimper and all of that when you're pounding into me. If you expect the same from a couple of flicks of your tongue then you're deluded. Lucky for you, I'm willing to indulge your delusions.

Hell, they should be thanking me for faking it!

Married Men

Out of all the men I've talked with and met most were married. Of course, this means they were looking for an extramarital affair. They are cheaters.

I think for a lot of people this is the biggest problem they have with arrangements, the cheating. They want to know how I can do it, be the 'other woman' knowingly. How can I possibly condone infidelity?

My answer is simple, and unoriginal: I don't condone it but I do provide it.

I have no problem with seeing married men. In fact, I prefer them. They demand far less of my time, and have even more reason than I to be discrete. Single guys often want to show me off, and I'm not comfortable with that. Who knows who might be sitting in the booth next to us, or going to the same play?

The next question is always an inquiry to how I would handle this in my own life. I believe I am honest when I say that I wouldn't mind. I've had this conversation (theoretically only!) with friends, and they are always shocked that I wouldn't mind if my future husband cheated on me.

There are some restrictions though, and these are ones I follow in my SB life. The man cannot have real feelings for me, and everything is kept as discrete as possible. I only see men who say they are happy in their marriages.

My long-term SD was married, and he once confessed to me that he had been with a woman in his office a couple of years back. He was clearly feeling guilty about her, and probably about me too, so I quickly soothed him. He was much smarter being with me. He was having safe, protected sex. There were no possible complications. His wife would never know, and it left him able to go home at night in a better mood to kiss his wife on the cheek.

To many people cheating is cheating, no way around it, and that's fine. For me, all I care about is emotional cheating. Keep it just about sex and don't throw it in my face and we'll have a happy life!

The Rules

I'd like to think I'm a pretty laid back kind of girl, but even I have a couple of simple, basic, easy-to-follow rules that every guy must comply with if he wants to set up a first meeting.

1. I must see a picture of you.
This is important for my own personal safety, and simply for general peace of mind. I do not have friends that I can talk to about this aspect of my life, so when I'm going to meet a potential for the first time I save his photo and general information in a Word document on the desktop of my laptop. If anything goes wrong, the cops are going to find you!
I also hate the feeling of going into a restaurant or coffee shop or bar and not having any clue as to who I am meeting. One man told me he thought it would amuse him to watch me try to figure out who he was in a Starbucks at noon. Yeah, it might be fun for you, and in general I'm all for playing games, but let's keep those games confined to the bedroom!

2. I must have your phone number
Lots of guys 'block' their phone number when they first call me. Again, this is just a simple safety issue.

3. We meet in a public place
Safety safety safety. I'm just a safety kind of girl! In general this has been either a bar or a restaurant. Coffee shops are fine, but I always prefer to have the meeting be around an hour long to really see if we have any chemistry, and who wants to sit in a crowded starbucks for an hour? Not me!

4. We are not going back to yours quite yet (sometimes)
I've broken this rule twice, and both times (Mr D included) I did not regret it, and both times it was because they flew into town just to see me.
In general though I think it is better (for me and for the potential) not to have any expectations of that type so we can spend the time seeing if we have chemistry.

With most potentials I never even have to mention my rules. Most are gentlemen and provide me with everything I could want to feel safe and comfortable when I am with them. I have never been in a situation where I did not feel safe with a potential or with an SD, and for that I am beyond thankful!

To Come or not to Come

# of Orgasms I've had: Countless

# of Orgasms from Men: 2

# of faked Orgasms: Countless again

I have had two real, honest-to-god orgasms thanks to men. I can get myself off easy, but coming during sex usually eludes me.

My first non-masturbatory orgasm was my first time meeting my one and only long-term SD (sugar daddy). I was on top, and he had just come, but was still inside me. We weren't even moving. I could feel it coming, and wasn't sure if I should let it, but ended up saying 'screw it.' I don't think he even noticed.

My second was while another SD was going down on me. Normally, I really can't enjoy that (long story), but before I had met up with him I had used my vibrator right up until I was about to come. So, I think it had less to do with his skill and more to do with the fact that I was already 90% there.

My last ex (as in real boy friend) was the only person I haven't had to fake it for. He didn't give a shit if I came or not, which I suppose should have tipped me off to him being a total asshole. Oh well!

The guy I'm currently seeing (non-SD) would probably be devastated if he knew I faked. I feel bad, but he really seems to put a lot on whether or not he can get me off, and he's such a nice guy I just can't tell him the truth!

Screening First Emails

Meeting a Sugar Daddy can be a long process. I've met up with quite a few guys trying to see if we had chemistry and if we were looking for the same thing. Normally though I can eliminate potentials before meeting, even before a second email.

I use websites to meet potentials and screen them through emails. Usually I only give out my phone number once we've decided to meet.

I have sent very few introductory emails in the couple of years I've been looking for an SD. I just let the guys come to me. I figure that if they aren't interested in my profile, what can I possibly say to change their mind?

The first email a guy sends tells me a lot about him. The form emails (ones that are not personalized at all) don't normally pull me in, but they're not an automatic no either, for me. The one or two word emails, or all caps, or major spelling/grammar mistakes are automatic no's. If you can't take the time to write at least one full sentence to me, then you clearly aren't very interested.

Another way to eliminate a potential from the first email is if they aren't in my area and don't ever travel here. I always double check by asking if they have business around here, which often nets me a 'No, but I'd love to fly you to me.' No thanks. I don't just hop on planes to meet strangers!

Asking about sex in the first email is a big no-no, as is asking for explicit photos. Yes, sex is a part of all this, but when it's all you want to talk about you make it clear that you're not an SD, you're a john.

So how does a lucky guy make it past the first email with me? Be polite, don't talk about sex (yet!), and give me something to go off of. Ask me a question, tell me a little about yourself, but don't write me a book. Refer to something I say in my profile to let me know you've actually read it and didn't just click on my picture. Maybe, just maybe, you'll get more than my 'sorry, not interested' email!

Stomach Ache

Possibly my funniest meeting occurred with a man I was meeting for the first time earlier this year. Let's call him Mr D. Mr D flew in to see me for the night, and was flying back out the next morning. He had regular business in my city, so it seemed like we could work something regular out. He got a hotel room in a nice but not five-star hotel downtown, and we agreed to meet up for a chat at a chain coffee shop down the street.

Mr D was probably 47 or 48 (never trust the ages they post online!) and pudgy. I was in no way physically attracted to him, but he was nice and a little funny. Plus, as I said, it seemed like we could work something regular out, and that's really important.

Mr D used the restroom at the coffee shop, and when he came back asked if I felt comfortable with him. I answered in the affirmative. He joked that he figured if I wasn't comfortable he would have come back from the restroom to an empty table. I laughed along with him, but to be honest the thought hadn't even crossed my mind!

We walked back to his hotel room. The view was spectacular, but I hardly had time to enjoy it. Mr D undressed me quickly, and then went down on me. In our emails before meeting he had said he really enjoyed that, so I was surprised he hardly seemed to know where my clitoris was! After he had enjoyed himself for a while I began to go down on him.

Now, I'd like to think I know a little about giving head. I'm no expert, but I have a couple of tricks up my sleeves. Well, Mr D wasn't very hard to start off with, but after perhaps five minutes he went completely soft. He suggested we try 69, no change. We cuddled and made out for a bit, thinking perhaps he'd get it back.

Then the hilarity begins. Mr D excuses himself to the bathroom and tells me to watch tv. Well, I will admit to being a bit of a tv addict, so I quickly turn on CNN. Mr D is in the bathroom five minutes, and when he comes out he says he's feeling better. We begin to make out again, but within two minutes he runs back to the restroom.

It would appear that poor Mr D had some bad food on the plane ride over and is feeling the effects! He apologized and said that it simply wasn't going to work out tonight. He hands me $300 plus cab fare, and I'm on my way!

I never saw him again, although he did email me to apologize. The apology is the funniest part! I got $300 for hardly doing anything!