Sunday, December 28, 2008

Stomach Ache

Possibly my funniest meeting occurred with a man I was meeting for the first time earlier this year. Let's call him Mr D. Mr D flew in to see me for the night, and was flying back out the next morning. He had regular business in my city, so it seemed like we could work something regular out. He got a hotel room in a nice but not five-star hotel downtown, and we agreed to meet up for a chat at a chain coffee shop down the street.

Mr D was probably 47 or 48 (never trust the ages they post online!) and pudgy. I was in no way physically attracted to him, but he was nice and a little funny. Plus, as I said, it seemed like we could work something regular out, and that's really important.

Mr D used the restroom at the coffee shop, and when he came back asked if I felt comfortable with him. I answered in the affirmative. He joked that he figured if I wasn't comfortable he would have come back from the restroom to an empty table. I laughed along with him, but to be honest the thought hadn't even crossed my mind!

We walked back to his hotel room. The view was spectacular, but I hardly had time to enjoy it. Mr D undressed me quickly, and then went down on me. In our emails before meeting he had said he really enjoyed that, so I was surprised he hardly seemed to know where my clitoris was! After he had enjoyed himself for a while I began to go down on him.

Now, I'd like to think I know a little about giving head. I'm no expert, but I have a couple of tricks up my sleeves. Well, Mr D wasn't very hard to start off with, but after perhaps five minutes he went completely soft. He suggested we try 69, no change. We cuddled and made out for a bit, thinking perhaps he'd get it back.

Then the hilarity begins. Mr D excuses himself to the bathroom and tells me to watch tv. Well, I will admit to being a bit of a tv addict, so I quickly turn on CNN. Mr D is in the bathroom five minutes, and when he comes out he says he's feeling better. We begin to make out again, but within two minutes he runs back to the restroom.

It would appear that poor Mr D had some bad food on the plane ride over and is feeling the effects! He apologized and said that it simply wasn't going to work out tonight. He hands me $300 plus cab fare, and I'm on my way!

I never saw him again, although he did email me to apologize. The apology is the funniest part! I got $300 for hardly doing anything!

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