Should Have Known Better

I got a message from a guy which just restated the one sentence in his profile. 'I would like to meet someone interesting and attractive.' He only added his personal email address and 'You're really cute. I'm very interested.'

I know better, but I emailed him. Sent another picture, asked him about his profession.

He responds...'Nice, B cup, right?'

Yeah, that's it.

I politely responded back in one sentence letting him know that I was flattered, but would not be continuing the conversation.

Wow.

Oldie, but a Goodie

I'm not using Craigslist this time around. I didn't have any luck there before, so I decided to leave it out of the mix of sites I'm using this time.

My main problem with Craigslist is that you only get the information the SD wants to provide. Often it is only a line or two saying what they want in their SB, and very little or nothing about themselves.

Obviously, this is the internet so anything anyone posts can be false, but even lies tell me something about a potential! Plus, I like to know things like age and height. I do need a certain level of attraction before I seriously consider someone. If you are far out of my age range, then why waste your time and mine?

This time around I'm back with the first site I ever logged into, as well as a new one. The new one I had never even noticed before (and I've checked out a lot of SD sites!). I'm not too optimistic about my chances of finding anyone on that site, but it doesn't hurt. On the old site I immediately had 5 or 6 guys who I've vetted before contact me. I very politely told them that I still wasn't interested, but it was sweet that they messaged me.

Social Norms, etc

I fully realize that these sorts of arrangements are not viewed by the general public favorably. I've mentioned before that I do not tell anyone, friends or family, about what I do.

I do fear people I know finding out. I go to great lengths to avoid this.

The main thing is to protect my profile. The internet is a big and scary place, and bad things can happen very easily. I do not ever put face pictures on my profile. I have heard all sorts of statistics about how face pictures get more responses, but it simply isn't worth it to me. My father has referenced one of the sites (one I'm not on, thank god!) and friends have joked about sugar babies and daddies too often. I send face pictures once I've gotten an email or two from the guy. It's just discretionary. When I feel comfortable, you see my face.

Another thing I do is meet in places away from 'my' area of the city. I like to be comfortable in my surroundings on first meetings, but not too comfortable! I have been lucky enough to not have had any run-ins with people I know while with an SD.

I do like to be prepared though, and it seems the SDs are just as worried. Coming out of a hotel once with an SD he quickly pulled me aside and said his best friend and his wife lived in a condo just down the street. If he were to be spotted I was to act like I had asked for directions! In the future we avoided this by simply leaving the hotel at different times. I had to check out of the room anyway, so it just made sense.

Would it be better if I could tell someone? Sure! But I don't think any of my friends would approve, so I keep it to myself. I think it's a secret I will have to keep forever unfortunately.

Nailing it all Down

Talking about specifics of an arrangement is very tricky. I've dealt with everything from first emails outlining exactly how often they want to meet and what allowance they want to give, to never even discussing those things.

Personally, I prefer to wait until after we've had a first meeting to talk about specifics, through emails. This way we've already established that we both would like to go ahead with an arrangement, and can get the business out of the way.

Many guys want to talk about it during the first meeting, but this puts me off a bit for two reasons. First, we're in public, and god only knows who is listening in on what we are talking about. Secondly, it is awkward no matter how you look at it, and discussing it in person, especially if we disagree in anything, just makes it more awkward.

I've actually had one arrangement where we never discussed neither how often we would meet, nor what type of allowance he was willing to give. It worked out fine, but didn't last long as I think neither of us was happy with the situation.

The easiest thing for me is just putting it in my profile. I make it very clear in the text of my profile how often I want to meet a month, and both sites I'm on have a place to put 'desired allowance.' I hate that most men put 'negotiable.' This doesn't help me out at all! You must have a number in mind, just tell me!

First Meeting Nerves

I'm always nervous. Always.

The more that I want you to like me, the more nervous I'm going to be. If for instance you are really cute, or you seem like the perfect potential, I'm going to be more nervous than if you're a bit out of my target age range, or seem cheap.

But I'm still nervous.

The handful of first meetings I've had have mainly been at bars. They've ranged from a neighborhood bar where the guy said everyone knew his name (a bit creepy) to the bar at a 5 star hotel which had an elevator attendant. I've also had first meetings at coffee shops, restaurants, and one on the steps of a museum.

I have a couple of rules, as I've mentioned before, but I forgot to mention one that applies to first meetings.

I don't shave my legs.

Yeah, you heard me. I don't shave my legs. This helps me keep another one of my rules, not to sleep with a potential on the first meeting. This, of course, is waived in the cases where I've gone in knowing ahead of time that I was going to sleep with the man right away, but that's only been twice. It's probably a little silly, but it seems to do the trick.

I was tempted once, and was so glad that I had that to keep me from breaking my rule!!

Sometimes I do get angry

I always try my best to stay calm about everything to do with the SD world. These guys have specific things they want, and if I'm not it I'm not going to get upset about it. I've been told many times by potentials that I am not what they want, and I've always been cool about it.

Then you get assholes like this guy. Let's call him D for douche. He sends me a one sentence email, so I email him back, asking questions and cracking a joke. When I took the time to look closer at his profile I realized there was no way he was the age he said he was, and I simply am not comfortable with men over a certain age.

He emailed me back pretty quickly, asking to see pictures. I decided to be polite and not leave him hanging so I wrote:

"Thanks for the message. I actually looked a bit closer at your profile and I don't think we are looking for the same thing. Thanks though, and best of luck!!"

He almost immediately writes back, accusing me of being one of many hookers who 'clog up this site' and added 'thanks for wasting my time.'

I understand where he might have gotten that because his profile specifies that he is not looking for a 'hooker,' but he should have read my profile where I specify that I am not a prostitute.

He blocked me so that I couldn't respond, so I became frustrated and a little angry! He miss-represented himself (his age) and so I am not interested. I honestly think what bothers me most is that he said I wasted his time. I try to be polite and considerate by letting him know I wasn't interested, and get slammed for it.

Oh well.

Screening First Emails

Meeting a Sugar Daddy can be a long process. I've met up with quite a few guys trying to see if we had chemistry and if we were looking for the same thing. Normally though I can eliminate potentials before meeting, even before a second email.

I use websites to meet potentials and screen them through emails. Usually I only give out my phone number once we've decided to meet.

I have sent very few introductory emails in the couple of years I've been looking for an SD. I just let the guys come to me. I figure that if they aren't interested in my profile, what can I possibly say to change their mind?

The first email a guy sends tells me a lot about him. The form emails (ones that are not personalized at all) don't normally pull me in, but they're not an automatic no either, for me. The one or two word emails, or all caps, or major spelling/grammar mistakes are automatic no's. If you can't take the time to write at least one full sentence to me, then you clearly aren't very interested.

Another way to eliminate a potential from the first email is if they aren't in my area and don't ever travel here. I always double check by asking if they have business around here, which often nets me a 'No, but I'd love to fly you to me.' No thanks. I don't just hop on planes to meet strangers!

Asking about sex in the first email is a big no-no, as is asking for explicit photos. Yes, sex is a part of all this, but when it's all you want to talk about you make it clear that you're not an SD, you're a john.

So how does a lucky guy make it past the first email with me? Be polite, don't talk about sex (yet!), and give me something to go off of. Ask me a question, tell me a little about yourself, but don't write me a book. Refer to something I say in my profile to let me know you've actually read it and didn't just click on my picture. Maybe, just maybe, you'll get more than my 'sorry, not interested' email!