More Hair

I got a comment on the last post saying they thought I was going somewhere else with the title. I actually had intended to eventually address the 'other' hair issue, but now seems like a good enough time!

And if you don't know what I mean by the 'other' hair issue, then you're a) an idiot, b) too young to be reading this, or c) on the wrong blog.

This has been something that I was forced to make a conscious decision about not too long ago. I had gone through the majority of my (post-pubescent) life bald down there, and completely happy about that fact. I never had any complaints... until I started seeing a certain SD.

This SD really hated it, and wanted me to let at least a little (and preferably a lot) grow out. I tried. I really really did. But I hated it. To me, it just feels uncomfortable, plus so many of my lingerie sets simply look ridiculous with hair!

So, I went back to bald, and haven't regretted it for a minute. It's what's in style right now (look at any porno or lad mag), it's most comfortable, and it's the safe bet. The majority of guys at the least won't mind having no hair to deal with, and lots will actually like it, a lot.

So, go shave or make an appointment with your local waxing salon.

Hairy Issues

A bit more of my personal advice to other SBs. Take it for what it is, and if you disagree I would love to know why!

I already mentioned by thoughts on an SBs wardrobe. Now let's talk about more permanent image things. Of course, there is an SD for any type of SB, but this is what has worked for me and I think it's pretty 'mainstream,' or at least as mainstream as you can get in the sugar world!

I have pretty long hair. I have kept my hair long because men seem to like long hair. Like any college student experimenting with their identity, there have been times I've wanted some trendy cut. But I haven't let myself give in.

I did recently cut it a bit shorter. This is for very similar reasons as to why I kept it long. I am entering the professional work force, and long wavy hair looks young. Just as I had long hair to perpetuate the SB/SD image, I have now changed my look to encourage my image as a young professional.

This has a lot to do with girl style vs guy style. Girl style might be that Carey Mulligan pixie cut (by the way, how good is 'An Education?'), but most guys just won't get it. Long, flowy hair is in. Just ask all the celebs who get extensions!

I'm Well Rounded

Not in the physical sense, although I'm not a stick either...

What I'm getting at is that SBs shouldn't just coast on youth and looks (and being female!). Are there SDs out there that are only looking for that? Sure. Are they the type I'm looking for? Nope.

The SD I'm looking for appreciates the fact that I have more to offer than perhaps the average SB. I think all SBs should cultivate themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. But, I work hard to be more than just a pretty picture.

I am not just a sugar baby. I am in a pre-professional program at a good university. I am a subscriber to The Economist. I write poetry. I am a runner. I am a great big sister. I belong to a greek organization on campus. I speak another language. I am studying abroad soon at a prestigious European university.

Add it all together (and more!) and I'm a catch, in the sugar world and in romantic relationships. I think (or hope!) that more and more men are looking for women who have the whole package. Smarts and beauty. And the guys who only want the physical? There are lots of other girls who only fulfill that requirement. Keep moving!

SB Fashion

Over the (omg, has it really been that long?) four years since I first entered the sugar world, I've had to pick up some tricks in order to stay on top of my game. I realize looking back over this blog that a lot of my posts are about what an SD should and shouldn't do, so I've decided to start speaking to my sisters in sugar.

So, we're starting with clothing. I'm no fashionista, but I do love and respect clothes and the power they have.

As SBs, our goal is to attract men. We want them to be thinking about us naked, thinking about how much fun they could be having with us. However, we don't want to broadcast that to the rest of the world.

My SB 'uniform' of sorts is a J Crew v-neck cashmere sweater, dark wash jeans, and pointy-toed kitten heels. Heels are a must, for the sound they make on the floor and the general polish they give to a look. I'm tall, so I stick with kitten heels so as not to be intimidating.

If this isn't a first meeting, then the point of the outfit should be that it is sexy, but not overly so, and easy to take off while still looking sexy. Lots of layers or buttons and too tight jeans don't come off in a sexy way. I test an outfit by watching myself take it off in the mirror to see if I look ridiculous. A thin sweater is ideal.

I have in the past been a bit more 'business casual,' depending on what the SD needed, as far as discretion goes. In those cases I lean towards a nice shell and cardigan with black or gray dress pants. J Crew, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic are all good.

Accessories should be kept to a minimum. I have a pretty big bag that I like. It's nice to have room for a pair of flip flops for the walk home or other little things.

Also, a word on girl style versus guy style. That cute shirt dress, those ankle boots? That's girl style. A v-neck tee, tight jeans? That's guy style. An SB needs to dress for guy style. This means low cut, accentuates the waist, flattering clothes. Girl style is trendy and often not very figure-flattering. Save that for going to school or shopping. Guys just don't get leggings or chunky necklaces, even if they are the hot new thing!

Money Honey

So, I had a great question from Allie (hope it's ok to link to you!). She asked just what the financials of this sort of arrangement are.

I have two answers, one is from my personal experience, and the other is pure hearsay.

Personally, I've the top range I've experienced was over $5,000 a months. Every time I saw him, he had an envelope with $1,000 in cash and he paid a couple of my bills. We normally saw each other 2-3 times a month for an hour or two on his lunch break at a nice hotel.

My average though has been around $2,000 or $3,000 a month. Granted, I have a limited schedule, and that really affects how much a potential is willing to shell out!

From what I've had potentials offer, it seems the average is less than that. Most guys on the sites see it as 'bulk-buy' prostitution (as I've mentioned before). Very often they talk about picking up a bill or two, which usually means less than $1,000 a month.

Now, for the hearsay part. From talking with a couple of girls and from what I see posted on the sites, I think I've been pretty lucky. Very few girls get less than the couple of bills paid that I mentioned before. In fact, very few girls seem to get to the stage where bills are being paid. To start, most SDs just give an envelope with whatever until they feel more comfortable that this will be a longer-term arrangement.

Also, location has a lot to do with it. I live in a big city, and so there are more SDs and I can afford to be picky. If a girl lives in a less populated area and can't travel much then she won't have many options.

From My Diary Part 2

Con't...

'J was just walking up to the entrance of the bar as I came from the other direction. We had an awkward moment of just staring at each other, and then we introduced ourselves, shaking hands. He's tall, fit, and far more handsome than I thought from his photo!

The bar was elegant and dark. One side was a traditional bar, but most of the room was plush chairs around tables and leather couches around a grand fireplace. He ordered a beer and I got an iced tea. He asked me a couple of questions about school, and I asked him about the trip he was leaving for later that afternoon.

He started talking about his job in finance and that carried the conversation until it was almost time to leave. He explained to me how he went from rich to uber-rich by making a risky investment about five years ago. It was science related, and he glossed over the technical aspects of it. I felt a bit insulted because he seemed to assume that I wouldn't understand even basic scientific principles. We can't all go to an Ivy League school!

We finally got to the real subject.

He said he only wants one girl. He's never done this before, and he wants me to be exclusive. I made sure to say that I don't need the money, that it's more about fun and excitement for me. He wants to 'help' someone, so I played up my tuition costs.

Once we decided to leave it got awkward again. We talked about how nice the hotel is on the way out and in the elevator.

I'm really looking forward to seeing him again!'

...
So there you have it! J was my second SD experience, after M. I knew a bit more, but still honestly had no clue what I was doing. Hopefully that just came off as endearing and not stupid to the guys!

From My Diary

I've decided to do a direct post from my diary of the first time I met my favorite SD, J.

'So I met J yesterday, but before I talk about him I have to talk about the hotel where we met.

A doorman pushed the revolving door for me so I wouldn't even have to touch it! There was a small entryway, very dark, classy, where I walked up to the front desk. They directed me to a bank of elevators.

A bellman led me to the elevators, pushed the button for me, an said 'Have a good day' as the doors opened.

I stepped out into a grand hallway, which I followed to the Lobby. I was so nervous that everything seemed strange, blurry, distant. The lobby was a huge room 5-6 stories up, with an alcove tucked up a floor over the whole room with a cellist playing. A cellist! In the middle of the day! I'm still in awe of everything I saw.

J was no where to be seen, so I ducked into the ladies room. Even the towels looked luxurious. I texted him quickly, and he said he was only a minute away. I composed myself and walked out of the bathroom.'

I'll post more tomorrow! Just wanted to give a sense of what that moment right before feels like.

My First Time Having Sex for Money

I mentioned my first meeting before here and here.

I did end up seeing M again, quite soon after that meeting. Luckily I didn't scare him away with my inexperience and inebriation!

We met at the same bar again, and each had a drink. He had been to the doctor's office earlier in the day, so we talked about his sports injury. I originally thought he would have to cancel because he had been through minor surgery in the office that day, but he was insistent that we meet anyway.

Almost the second we stepped through the door of his condo we were at it. We had the quick mumbled convo about birth control (pill and condoms!) and before I knew it I was naked, laying across his bed!

Please keep in mind how terribly, terribly inexperienced I was at this point in my life! This is certainly not what I consider an 'ideal' meeting!

He went down on me, something I had never before experienced (ahem, college guys suck at sex). I didn't know what to do, and honestly was a bit uncomfortable. When it was my turn to reciprocate I was relieved.

M was average sized, nothing extraordinary, but certainly not disappointing. The sex was average as well, lasting perhaps 5 minutes, in missionary.

We talked for a while after. I was a bit inebriated (again). He asked if I'd ever thought about getting implants. I responded that if they ever find a way to make implants pain-free I'll be first in line! Until then, there's no way I'd ever agree to unnecessary pain. I have very low pain tolerance.

We got dressed, and he walked me out. In the elevator he handed me an envelope, and said he hoped it was enough. We hadn't discussed money at all beforehand. He joked that it was probably the easiest money I'd ever make, and I nervously laughed with him.

Certainly not a terrible first time, however I learned a lot from it (when I sobered up).

Funny note: When I got home 20 minutes later I ran into a friend on my way into my building. She grabbed me and made me go out for a snack with her and a bunch a friends. The whole time all I could think was 'Please dear god don't let them figure out that I'm tipsy... or notice the economy pack of condoms in my bag!' I got away with it somehow!

Belle de Jour

Belle de Jour, the up-until-yesterday anonymous ex-call girl who wrote tons of books about her experiences, has always been an idol of mine.

I read her first book when I was in high school. It sat on my shelf after that for a few years before I moved to college. As I was packing up, I sat and re-read a couple of my favorite parts. I eventually found out that it was originally a blog. I read the entire thing in just a couple of days. Belle seeped into my consciousness. She's part of the reason I first decided to sign up for one of the sites, but that's another post.

The Times wrote a great article about Belle, at least in my opinion. She outed herself, although there were certainly reasons why she did it now (ex-boyfriend, press catching on). I hope that the paps don't ruin her life. I think the best possible outcome would be that now all the mystery is over, everyone gets bored and leaves her alone.

It's very motivating to me to see someone like Belle, who has a PhD and is doing amazing work for kids with cancer. It makes me realize that so long as I don't let myself get pulled in too far, this can all be just a bit of fun, and when I want to move on I can. Certainly Belle is going to face some negative consequences, but I have no plans on becoming famous like her or to write a book. This blog is really more for myself to keep track of my thoughts than anything else.

So, best of luck to Belle/Brooke! I'm glad to finally know who she is after all these years, but I never wished for her to be forcibly exposed. I hope that her decision to come out now is for the best and that she never regrets anything!

Hello Darlings!

I've been gone for a while. Just needed to sort things out. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't been and active SB for nearly a year. However, all that is changing.

I'm back on the prowl!

So, I will be posting again, hopefully fairly frequently, all about my new search for the perfect SD. I already have quite a few potentials lined up, and can't wait to tell you about them!

Social Norms, etc

I fully realize that these sorts of arrangements are not viewed by the general public favorably. I've mentioned before that I do not tell anyone, friends or family, about what I do.

I do fear people I know finding out. I go to great lengths to avoid this.

The main thing is to protect my profile. The internet is a big and scary place, and bad things can happen very easily. I do not ever put face pictures on my profile. I have heard all sorts of statistics about how face pictures get more responses, but it simply isn't worth it to me. My father has referenced one of the sites (one I'm not on, thank god!) and friends have joked about sugar babies and daddies too often. I send face pictures once I've gotten an email or two from the guy. It's just discretionary. When I feel comfortable, you see my face.

Another thing I do is meet in places away from 'my' area of the city. I like to be comfortable in my surroundings on first meetings, but not too comfortable! I have been lucky enough to not have had any run-ins with people I know while with an SD.

I do like to be prepared though, and it seems the SDs are just as worried. Coming out of a hotel once with an SD he quickly pulled me aside and said his best friend and his wife lived in a condo just down the street. If he were to be spotted I was to act like I had asked for directions! In the future we avoided this by simply leaving the hotel at different times. I had to check out of the room anyway, so it just made sense.

Would it be better if I could tell someone? Sure! But I don't think any of my friends would approve, so I keep it to myself. I think it's a secret I will have to keep forever unfortunately.

Sometimes I do get angry

I always try my best to stay calm about everything to do with the SD world. These guys have specific things they want, and if I'm not it I'm not going to get upset about it. I've been told many times by potentials that I am not what they want, and I've always been cool about it.

Then you get assholes like this guy. Let's call him D for douche. He sends me a one sentence email, so I email him back, asking questions and cracking a joke. When I took the time to look closer at his profile I realized there was no way he was the age he said he was, and I simply am not comfortable with men over a certain age.

He emailed me back pretty quickly, asking to see pictures. I decided to be polite and not leave him hanging so I wrote:

"Thanks for the message. I actually looked a bit closer at your profile and I don't think we are looking for the same thing. Thanks though, and best of luck!!"

He almost immediately writes back, accusing me of being one of many hookers who 'clog up this site' and added 'thanks for wasting my time.'

I understand where he might have gotten that because his profile specifies that he is not looking for a 'hooker,' but he should have read my profile where I specify that I am not a prostitute.

He blocked me so that I couldn't respond, so I became frustrated and a little angry! He miss-represented himself (his age) and so I am not interested. I honestly think what bothers me most is that he said I wasted his time. I try to be polite and considerate by letting him know I wasn't interested, and get slammed for it.

Oh well.

Craigslist vs The Sites

I've been on two different sites for meeting SDs the couple of years I've been doing this. There are some great advantages to the sites, mainly that the men have to fill out profiles with their ages, location, and what they want. Some even list what amount of allowance they are willing to give. Sure, lots and lots of them lie, but at least you can get a general idea.

One of the sites I am on is a bit more classy, I suppose. I get fewer emails from it, but they are more likely to be quality. My one long-term SD I found through this site. The other site has a lot of guys who are just getting their rocks off by chatting, and looking for call girls, but I have met with a couple of nice potentials from there as well. Plus, it's a nice ego boost every morning to wake up to ten emails from guys who want to fuck me. No, I'm not interested, but it's an ego boost just like the Mexican guy at the corner shop who always asks if I have a boyfriend.

I just recently took a look at craigslist for the first time, and the idea of it all scares me a bit more than the sites do. I don't like that most of the men give very little information about themselves. I guess I'm just used to the profiles with ages and heights.

There's also something about having to email them. Sure, I could just put my own posting up, but so far I've been the one going after them. It's not my usual style, and not really how I like to start things off. I want them to want me, to come after me, otherwise the whole thing just seems off balance!

I emailed two men from craigslist the other day, and one of them actually seems like someone I might end up meeting. But that was mainly because he treated his post like a profile and filled in all the info I could want on him. Well, and he's also quite charming and mentioned taking me to a restaurant that I've been dying to try! In such a big city it just seems funny that he thought of that one restaurant too.

Perhaps I'll have to change my mind about craigslist and put it into my regular mix of sites to check. We shall see!

Screening First Emails

Meeting a Sugar Daddy can be a long process. I've met up with quite a few guys trying to see if we had chemistry and if we were looking for the same thing. Normally though I can eliminate potentials before meeting, even before a second email.

I use websites to meet potentials and screen them through emails. Usually I only give out my phone number once we've decided to meet.

I have sent very few introductory emails in the couple of years I've been looking for an SD. I just let the guys come to me. I figure that if they aren't interested in my profile, what can I possibly say to change their mind?

The first email a guy sends tells me a lot about him. The form emails (ones that are not personalized at all) don't normally pull me in, but they're not an automatic no either, for me. The one or two word emails, or all caps, or major spelling/grammar mistakes are automatic no's. If you can't take the time to write at least one full sentence to me, then you clearly aren't very interested.

Another way to eliminate a potential from the first email is if they aren't in my area and don't ever travel here. I always double check by asking if they have business around here, which often nets me a 'No, but I'd love to fly you to me.' No thanks. I don't just hop on planes to meet strangers!

Asking about sex in the first email is a big no-no, as is asking for explicit photos. Yes, sex is a part of all this, but when it's all you want to talk about you make it clear that you're not an SD, you're a john.

So how does a lucky guy make it past the first email with me? Be polite, don't talk about sex (yet!), and give me something to go off of. Ask me a question, tell me a little about yourself, but don't write me a book. Refer to something I say in my profile to let me know you've actually read it and didn't just click on my picture. Maybe, just maybe, you'll get more than my 'sorry, not interested' email!

Stomach Ache

Possibly my funniest meeting occurred with a man I was meeting for the first time earlier this year. Let's call him Mr D. Mr D flew in to see me for the night, and was flying back out the next morning. He had regular business in my city, so it seemed like we could work something regular out. He got a hotel room in a nice but not five-star hotel downtown, and we agreed to meet up for a chat at a chain coffee shop down the street.

Mr D was probably 47 or 48 (never trust the ages they post online!) and pudgy. I was in no way physically attracted to him, but he was nice and a little funny. Plus, as I said, it seemed like we could work something regular out, and that's really important.

Mr D used the restroom at the coffee shop, and when he came back asked if I felt comfortable with him. I answered in the affirmative. He joked that he figured if I wasn't comfortable he would have come back from the restroom to an empty table. I laughed along with him, but to be honest the thought hadn't even crossed my mind!

We walked back to his hotel room. The view was spectacular, but I hardly had time to enjoy it. Mr D undressed me quickly, and then went down on me. In our emails before meeting he had said he really enjoyed that, so I was surprised he hardly seemed to know where my clitoris was! After he had enjoyed himself for a while I began to go down on him.

Now, I'd like to think I know a little about giving head. I'm no expert, but I have a couple of tricks up my sleeves. Well, Mr D wasn't very hard to start off with, but after perhaps five minutes he went completely soft. He suggested we try 69, no change. We cuddled and made out for a bit, thinking perhaps he'd get it back.

Then the hilarity begins. Mr D excuses himself to the bathroom and tells me to watch tv. Well, I will admit to being a bit of a tv addict, so I quickly turn on CNN. Mr D is in the bathroom five minutes, and when he comes out he says he's feeling better. We begin to make out again, but within two minutes he runs back to the restroom.

It would appear that poor Mr D had some bad food on the plane ride over and is feeling the effects! He apologized and said that it simply wasn't going to work out tonight. He hands me $300 plus cab fare, and I'm on my way!

I never saw him again, although he did email me to apologize. The apology is the funniest part! I got $300 for hardly doing anything!

A little introduction

I'm a college student who just happens to, occasionally and secretly, meet up with men who are at a minimum twice my age to go to dinner, get a drink, and fuck. For money.

Do I consider myself a prostitute? No, but I have no problem with prostitutes in general and have considered switching over. To be honest, I don't think I'm a strong enough person to handle escorting without major consequences.

I also don't consider myself an escort because I think most escorts would be offended my presumption. I don't do half what they do. If you really like to use the word, perhaps something along the lines of hook-lite would work. And yes, I stole that from the amazing 'Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl.'

I don't even like the term 'sugar baby,' but it seems the most common label for girls like me. When I first started I was infatuated with the term 'mistress' and the history behind it. I think I still may be, but I've learned to accept being called many other things along the way.

This is my place to share the crazy, funny, and sad things that have happened since I first started seeing men for money. Hopefully someone will think it's as interesting as I do!