I'm Well Rounded

Not in the physical sense, although I'm not a stick either...

What I'm getting at is that SBs shouldn't just coast on youth and looks (and being female!). Are there SDs out there that are only looking for that? Sure. Are they the type I'm looking for? Nope.

The SD I'm looking for appreciates the fact that I have more to offer than perhaps the average SB. I think all SBs should cultivate themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. But, I work hard to be more than just a pretty picture.

I am not just a sugar baby. I am in a pre-professional program at a good university. I am a subscriber to The Economist. I write poetry. I am a runner. I am a great big sister. I belong to a greek organization on campus. I speak another language. I am studying abroad soon at a prestigious European university.

Add it all together (and more!) and I'm a catch, in the sugar world and in romantic relationships. I think (or hope!) that more and more men are looking for women who have the whole package. Smarts and beauty. And the guys who only want the physical? There are lots of other girls who only fulfill that requirement. Keep moving!

The Age Gap

As my tag-line reads, my SDs have all been at a minimum twice my age. It has spoiled me a bit, and now even in my dating life I can't stand the boys my age. I go up at least five years before I even consider a guy.

I've become comfortable around older men. Perhaps even more comfortable than I am with younger men. I'm not talking about men my grandfather's age, or really even my father's age, but men in their 40s or so.

But now I have a new potential who falls outside of that range. A new potential who is intelligent, witty, attractive, and an all around nice guy.

He's 32.

And I honestly see that as a drawback. Strangely enough, I feel less comfortable than if he were 42 or 52. I know what those men want and expect (or I like to think I do!). With this potential, I feel off-balance.

He's young enough to fall into my dating pool, and I think that may be what is most off-putting for me. I want to like my SD, but I don't want to have to worry about it becoming more, emotionally for me.

What's a good SB to do? Be careful, like with everything else in this crazy world!

My Current Situation

I feel I should let everyone know that I do not currently have an SD. I am not on any sites, and I am not looking. I have no desire for an SD right now.

Instead, I have a boyfriend, who I've mentioned before (here and here). I have always put relationships before arrangements. Being an SB is not my future, so I have always put the real deal before the simulation.

I am very happy right now. I am financially comfortable, doing fairly well in school, have very little friend drama, and the boyfriend drama has been manageable. Overall, great!

Do I miss having the excitement of an SD? Sometimes. It certainly spices up life, running off between classes to meet him at a hotel, or lying to my roommate as to why I'm spending the night away.

At the same time I prefer having a simple life. I go to class, work, friends, and boyfriends. Nothing to lie about, nothing to hide. Sure, sitting on my couch all day watching Friends re-runs is boring, yet at the same time it's incredibly enjoyable.

Will I go back to the SD world someday? I'm not sure. I don't think I can answer that being where I am right now in my life. But I am open to the idea.

Pavlov's Dog

So, this isn't really about being an SB. You've been warned!

I've been seeing my current boyfriend for a couple of months now. We are very sexually active! As with all new guys, I had to get used to some of the things he likes to do.

I wasn't really into neck kissing, but it seems to be one of his favorite things to do. At first, I was just happy that he wasn't leaving any marks (major turn-off!).

Well, the last time he and I were together, when he started kissing my neck, all of a sudden I felt different. I felt a rush of wetness! I was enjoying it!!

I have to wonder now though if I was actually enjoying the neck kissing, or if it was simply that after a couple of months of neck kissing leading to more fun things, my body responded just as Pavlov's dogs responded to the bell.

Te only reason I thought of this is because the story of Pavlov was used as an example in class the other day. I'd rather think that I am actually just becoming more comfortable with him and having sex with him, and that is leading to me being more turned on.

A Side Effect...

In an arrangement, I put up with all sorts of stuff that I wouldn't in a relationship.


I think that a side-effect of having arrangements is that I have become more accommodating in my relationships. When my boyfriend is late, I brush it off. When he calls me up and gives me no notice but wants to hang out, I go along with it. When he cancels our plans, or is distracted while we're watching a movie, I just laugh about it. I even have encouraged him to check his Blackberry while we're having dinner.

I never used to be like that.

It's the SD mindset. The man can't be wrong. Whatever he wants, I have to go along with it, whether I want to or not. And if I don't want to, or if he's annoying me, or if I'm pissed off, I never show it. I keep it all inside and pretend like everything is perfect.

Luckily for my current boyfriend, he gets away with it all because I honestly care for him. It doesn't matter if I'm mad while waiting for him because the second he kisses me hello, it melts away.

Maybe this means I'm building the relationship on a shaky foundation, but for now it's working, and in general he is a perfect gentleman.

That's another side effect, albeit a positive one. I am not attracted to assholes anymore. If you don't take care of me (paying for dinner, opening doors, giving me a ride home) I won't give you the time of day. I know that I am worth it now!