Money Honey

So, I had a great question from Allie (hope it's ok to link to you!). She asked just what the financials of this sort of arrangement are.

I have two answers, one is from my personal experience, and the other is pure hearsay.

Personally, I've the top range I've experienced was over $5,000 a months. Every time I saw him, he had an envelope with $1,000 in cash and he paid a couple of my bills. We normally saw each other 2-3 times a month for an hour or two on his lunch break at a nice hotel.

My average though has been around $2,000 or $3,000 a month. Granted, I have a limited schedule, and that really affects how much a potential is willing to shell out!

From what I've had potentials offer, it seems the average is less than that. Most guys on the sites see it as 'bulk-buy' prostitution (as I've mentioned before). Very often they talk about picking up a bill or two, which usually means less than $1,000 a month.

Now, for the hearsay part. From talking with a couple of girls and from what I see posted on the sites, I think I've been pretty lucky. Very few girls get less than the couple of bills paid that I mentioned before. In fact, very few girls seem to get to the stage where bills are being paid. To start, most SDs just give an envelope with whatever until they feel more comfortable that this will be a longer-term arrangement.

Also, location has a lot to do with it. I live in a big city, and so there are more SDs and I can afford to be picky. If a girl lives in a less populated area and can't travel much then she won't have many options.

In the mean time...

Although C is clearly my preference, I have met with another potential and will probably keep him around for a while. Mr M is perfectly nice, almost too nice.

I'll explain by telling you about our first meeting. He was in town last week, so I made some time to see him after work one day. We met at the bar of the posh hotel he was staying in. He hugged me right off, and was in general a bit more 'touchy-feely' than I like to be in public. That rule goes for boyfriends and SDs alike. I'm not a huge fan of lots of arm touching or hand holding, and kissing is absolutely verboten. If I'm in public with an SD, the general population should not automatically wonder if we're fucking each other.

He has had four previous arrangements over the past ten years or so. To me that means that he probably has a very specific idea of what his SB should be, and what he expects from the arrangement. That can be great - if it matches with what I'm looking for.

I think in general he is a match, except for his desired level of privacy. Despite not being ashamed or guilty or anything like that about being an SB, I don't like for the general public to know about it. Mr M doesn't seem to care if the people sitting next to us at a restaurant figure it out or not.... actually, I think he might want them to figure it out. With the age difference hovering right around 30+ years, I'm really uncomfortable with that.

But, he's a huge sweetheart. He brought me chocolates, and insisted on calling a car for me (not a cab, a chauffeured car). So, one of these weekends soon I will be making the short flight to see him on his home turf. I'm looking forward to it and not at the same time. C is still my priority, but Mr M is a good alternative should C end up falling through, as so many great potentials do!

Costco for Excorts

Some potentials seem to see a sugar baby as a way to spend less money than what they currently do on escorts. I often want to send these men links to local escort ads in response, but I've always resisted the urge.

For example, Mr Z sent me an email letting me know that he was willing to give me $2000 a month in return for being exclusive and meeting at least three times a week. He filled his message with a lot of explanations, chiefly that $2000 a month is more than a lot of people make working 40 hours a week.

I had some major issues with Mr Z. Firstly, his profile was woefully inadequate, addressing only what race of woman he was looking for and that he is a very good lover.

Secondly, $2000 a month at a 40 hour a week job is $12.50 an hour. I really think that saying 'a lot' of people was an overstatement, especially considering I make more than that at my part-time job.

Thirdly, he clearly falls into the Costco Sugar Daddy group. Three times a week would mean approx. $165 per meeting. From my quick surfing of craigslist that seems to be the going rate for an hour with any of the beautiful ladies on there.

Mr Z is not alone in seeing a Sugar Baby as a budget escort. I want to explain to all of them their folly, but instead I bite my tongue and delete their emails before my resolve wilts away.

Sorry guys, but you can't save money buy bulk-buying your hours with an escort and calling her a sugar baby. At least not with any of the smart ones.

Doin' it for the Money

I have never been an SB for money. Yes, the money is a necessary part, but I have never let it be the decision maker.

In fact, the one time in my life I hit a rough patch financially (nearly evicted, couldn't pay my tuition) I dumped my SD. Maybe this was stupid. I sometimes regret it. To be honest though, I simply couldn't get up the energy to dress up and act happy when it felt like my life was falling apart.

My first SD/SB experience was so I could buy a designer bag I had been worshiping. I am an SB for the extras in life. I am an SB so I can go shopping, and eat out, and have fun nights at bars with my friends.

I will never be an SB to pay rent or put food in my mouth. Part of it for me is that I don't need the money. I am independent. I support myself through college by working, like tons of other college students. I work hard and I work long hours.

Being an SB is all about fun, from getting ready, to the time I spend with the SD, to going shopping with the money. Fun from start to finish!

Giving Craigslist a Shot

I mentioned earlier that I responded to a couple of craigslist postings, and was interested in one or two of the men. Well, one pulled a 'my ex and I got back together' just six hours before our first meeting was scheduled. The other could only meet during the day, so it took me a bit longer to set up a time to meet him.

Boy, am I glad we had that extra week to talk over email before I wasted my time on him!

Normally I am not big on talking about money or sex before we meet, but he asked so I told him what my allowance was with my previous SD. His email in response was hilarious!

'Wow. That's a whole other league.'

He then tells me that with his previous SB he gave her less than half what I asked for, and met up twice a week! It boils down to less that $200 each meeting!!

I quickly responded that I didn't think we were suitable, not because of the money but because my schedule does not allow me to meet up more than 3 or 4 times a month. And, of course, I wished him the best of luck.

Sometimes I am just amazed with how much men want for so little. I suppose he saw an SB as a sort of bulk-buy escort. Give her an allowance and maybe, just maybe, she won't notice that it's a total ripoff. Too bad for him I'm not lying when I say I'm a college student, and I can quickly figure out if he's worth it or not.

Oh, and I wasn't lying about not being able to meet twice a week. I would have had to turn him down even if the money would have been adequate.

Nailing it all Down

Talking about specifics of an arrangement is very tricky. I've dealt with everything from first emails outlining exactly how often they want to meet and what allowance they want to give, to never even discussing those things.

Personally, I prefer to wait until after we've had a first meeting to talk about specifics, through emails. This way we've already established that we both would like to go ahead with an arrangement, and can get the business out of the way.

Many guys want to talk about it during the first meeting, but this puts me off a bit for two reasons. First, we're in public, and god only knows who is listening in on what we are talking about. Secondly, it is awkward no matter how you look at it, and discussing it in person, especially if we disagree in anything, just makes it more awkward.

I've actually had one arrangement where we never discussed neither how often we would meet, nor what type of allowance he was willing to give. It worked out fine, but didn't last long as I think neither of us was happy with the situation.

The easiest thing for me is just putting it in my profile. I make it very clear in the text of my profile how often I want to meet a month, and both sites I'm on have a place to put 'desired allowance.' I hate that most men put 'negotiable.' This doesn't help me out at all! You must have a number in mind, just tell me!