My First Meeting P2

I am sorry for not continuing this post earlier. I've lost my journal from that year, and I wanted to try to remember more details. Alas, it seems to be truly gone (whaaa!), so here goes!

When he returned we sat and talked a bit longer, and then he suggested we head out. At this point I will admit I had drank (drunk?) half the glass of wine and two cosmos. Remember I was only a little froshie and the whole drinking thing was new to me, so I was definitely tipsy.

We began to walk out of the bar and down the street. At first we were heading towards the subway, but then we weren't. I didn't say anything. Next thing I knew he was holding open the door to a gorgeous condo high-rise. We went upstairs, past the two smiling doormen. His one-bedroom condo was beautiful, clearly professionally decorated.

He excused himself to the bathroom, so I sneaked a peak of the view out the window. Gorgeous. When he came out we sat on the couch talking for a bit.

Then he asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom. I blushed horribly. I apologized and said I wasn't sure why I had come back to his place with him because I didn't intend to have sex on the first meeting. He said that was fine, then asked if he could have a blowjob.

Embarrassing, but true, I really was inexperienced with the BJ, so I said no. He said that was fine, again, and offered me a ride home.

We took a taxi to one of his properties a couple of blocks away where he kept his car. The gate's lock was iced, so after struggling with it for a couple of minutes we walked from the front of the brownstone around the block to the alley. He had a brand-new Lexus.

He drove me home, and kissed me when he dropped me off. Nearly the whole drive there he had been on the phone with his wife, directing her on packing their vacation home.

And that was my very first meeting with a real live sugar daddy!

Children and Babies

I've had SDs who want to talk about their kids and others who avoid the topic as much as possible. It may be weird, but I like to hear about the children! It can be uncomfortable at first.

Once an SD told me that his three kids were home from school because they had a free day. I felt bad that I was taking their dad away from them. Then I remember I wasn't taking him away from them, I was taking him away from his office. He wouldn't have been home even if I didn't exist.

I think it's because I just love kids in general. I can't wait to have my own. Well, actually I can because I am NOT at the right point in my life, but I look forward to when I am ready.

SDs have told me all sorts of things about their kids. I think they feel more comfortable saying how they really feel. I've heard fathers proclaim favorites, and admit that perhaps little Junior isn't going to be a rocket scientist after all. Everything that has ever been said to me regarding children has been said with love behind every word.

On a slightly different note, it's never happened to me, but I have heard of girls being propositioned by men on SD sites looking to impregnate them. I think that's very weird, and way beyond my comfort level!

In Honor of the Holiday...

We shall be discussing drinking and SDs. How much, when, and where!

I see nothing wrong with drinking with an SD. Infact, more than half of my first meetings have been at bars or similar places. A glass of wine or a Cosmo seems to be the best way to go.

My very first meeting I got a little too tipsy. I wasn't drunk, but I also wasn't fully aware of what was going on. I said things I shouldn't have, and I ended up back at his place and in a very awkward and dangerous situation. Thank god he turned out to be a good guy!

So drinking is ok, but drinking St Patties Day style is not!

Wine I think is preferable to any other drink simply because it is seen as feminine, and if he (and you!) know anything about wine it's a good topic. If you don't know anything about wine, try to at least learn some basics, like what types or reds you like, or even what a red is!

Having a drink is a great way to relax, for you and for him! Plus it gives you something to do with your hands! I never know what to do with my hands!

Social Norms, etc

I fully realize that these sorts of arrangements are not viewed by the general public favorably. I've mentioned before that I do not tell anyone, friends or family, about what I do.

I do fear people I know finding out. I go to great lengths to avoid this.

The main thing is to protect my profile. The internet is a big and scary place, and bad things can happen very easily. I do not ever put face pictures on my profile. I have heard all sorts of statistics about how face pictures get more responses, but it simply isn't worth it to me. My father has referenced one of the sites (one I'm not on, thank god!) and friends have joked about sugar babies and daddies too often. I send face pictures once I've gotten an email or two from the guy. It's just discretionary. When I feel comfortable, you see my face.

Another thing I do is meet in places away from 'my' area of the city. I like to be comfortable in my surroundings on first meetings, but not too comfortable! I have been lucky enough to not have had any run-ins with people I know while with an SD.

I do like to be prepared though, and it seems the SDs are just as worried. Coming out of a hotel once with an SD he quickly pulled me aside and said his best friend and his wife lived in a condo just down the street. If he were to be spotted I was to act like I had asked for directions! In the future we avoided this by simply leaving the hotel at different times. I had to check out of the room anyway, so it just made sense.

Would it be better if I could tell someone? Sure! But I don't think any of my friends would approve, so I keep it to myself. I think it's a secret I will have to keep forever unfortunately.

My Current Situation

I feel I should let everyone know that I do not currently have an SD. I am not on any sites, and I am not looking. I have no desire for an SD right now.

Instead, I have a boyfriend, who I've mentioned before (here and here). I have always put relationships before arrangements. Being an SB is not my future, so I have always put the real deal before the simulation.

I am very happy right now. I am financially comfortable, doing fairly well in school, have very little friend drama, and the boyfriend drama has been manageable. Overall, great!

Do I miss having the excitement of an SD? Sometimes. It certainly spices up life, running off between classes to meet him at a hotel, or lying to my roommate as to why I'm spending the night away.

At the same time I prefer having a simple life. I go to class, work, friends, and boyfriends. Nothing to lie about, nothing to hide. Sure, sitting on my couch all day watching Friends re-runs is boring, yet at the same time it's incredibly enjoyable.

Will I go back to the SD world someday? I'm not sure. I don't think I can answer that being where I am right now in my life. But I am open to the idea.

Daddy Issues

I'll admit it. I have daddy issues. And for once, I mean my real father.

I think a lot of girls who go for this sort of arrangement probably do too. I have always been attracted to older men, and I have no problem admitting that it stems from problems with my father.

Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, and he loves me too. There was never ANY abuse, so please don't go there. I just think, like a lot of girls, that I never got enough attention from him, never enough love. He tried, but he's just not a very touchy-feely guy.


So I've always wanted other men to love me, to want me. I get off on it. Is it messed up that I know this and still indulge it? Perhaps. But, for now, it's how I choose to deal with it. I simply don't know any other way.

A lot of girls on sites seem to be looking for daddy replacements too. The terminology alone not only condones it, but encourages it. He's my daddy, I'm his baby.

To be honest though, if any guy actually wanted me to call him 'daddy,' in or out of bed, I'd run for the hills! That's too much, even for me!!

Doin' it for the Money

I have never been an SB for money. Yes, the money is a necessary part, but I have never let it be the decision maker.

In fact, the one time in my life I hit a rough patch financially (nearly evicted, couldn't pay my tuition) I dumped my SD. Maybe this was stupid. I sometimes regret it. To be honest though, I simply couldn't get up the energy to dress up and act happy when it felt like my life was falling apart.

My first SD/SB experience was so I could buy a designer bag I had been worshiping. I am an SB for the extras in life. I am an SB so I can go shopping, and eat out, and have fun nights at bars with my friends.

I will never be an SB to pay rent or put food in my mouth. Part of it for me is that I don't need the money. I am independent. I support myself through college by working, like tons of other college students. I work hard and I work long hours.

Being an SB is all about fun, from getting ready, to the time I spend with the SD, to going shopping with the money. Fun from start to finish!

Special Things

I think a big part of what I do as an SB is remember special little things that the men I see like.

One man is permanently over-hydrated, so I always make sure that before he arrives I set out a glass of water.

Another guy is really into earrings. I always make sure to wear a different, new pair for him. He likes to lick and play with them.

Another guy is really into his nipples. I have never experienced this before, but he can actually come from nipple-play alone! I've gotten really good with mens nipples thanks to him!

Or there's the guy who just wants me to give him a hand job until he comes across my stomach. For him I make sure that I have a towel close by.

There was another guy who always seemed to be hot, so I would sacrifice my own personal comfort and turn down the temperature any time I saw him.

For all the guys, after I see them I write down what we talked about so I remember for the next time and can ask questions about their jobs and children.

These are things that I just picked up on. The SDs didn't tell me that they like earrings, or nipple play, I just figured it out and made it a special thing for him. I think that's a huge part of what an SB does.

I'm a safety kinda gal

Safety is huge for me. If I get a funny feeling about a guy, I cancel. I avoid risks, because meeting SDs is risky, just like any type of online dating.

One guy who I was talking to set off some major alarm bells when we were setting up our first meeting. He asked if I wanted to meet at his condo for a drink before dinner. I said I preferred to meet at the restaurant instead. He seemed cool about it at first.

Then he starts telling me about how he thinks it's great when a girl is confident enough to just go over to a guys place before meeting him. He said he thought it showed that she was cool and really interested in him.

I was stunned. Personally, I think that any girl who does that is an idiot just asking for trouble. Clearly he doesn't actually intend to make it to dinner when he's already got you in his condo drinking wine.

I ended up canceling on him. He eventually agreed to meet me at the restaurant, but I still wasn't comfortable after having had that conversation with him. Also, he lived very close to me. Even though it's a big city, it still made me a bit nervous!

Pavlov's Dog

So, this isn't really about being an SB. You've been warned!

I've been seeing my current boyfriend for a couple of months now. We are very sexually active! As with all new guys, I had to get used to some of the things he likes to do.

I wasn't really into neck kissing, but it seems to be one of his favorite things to do. At first, I was just happy that he wasn't leaving any marks (major turn-off!).

Well, the last time he and I were together, when he started kissing my neck, all of a sudden I felt different. I felt a rush of wetness! I was enjoying it!!

I have to wonder now though if I was actually enjoying the neck kissing, or if it was simply that after a couple of months of neck kissing leading to more fun things, my body responded just as Pavlov's dogs responded to the bell.

Te only reason I thought of this is because the story of Pavlov was used as an example in class the other day. I'd rather think that I am actually just becoming more comfortable with him and having sex with him, and that is leading to me being more turned on.