I'm Well Rounded

Not in the physical sense, although I'm not a stick either...

What I'm getting at is that SBs shouldn't just coast on youth and looks (and being female!). Are there SDs out there that are only looking for that? Sure. Are they the type I'm looking for? Nope.

The SD I'm looking for appreciates the fact that I have more to offer than perhaps the average SB. I think all SBs should cultivate themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. But, I work hard to be more than just a pretty picture.

I am not just a sugar baby. I am in a pre-professional program at a good university. I am a subscriber to The Economist. I write poetry. I am a runner. I am a great big sister. I belong to a greek organization on campus. I speak another language. I am studying abroad soon at a prestigious European university.

Add it all together (and more!) and I'm a catch, in the sugar world and in romantic relationships. I think (or hope!) that more and more men are looking for women who have the whole package. Smarts and beauty. And the guys who only want the physical? There are lots of other girls who only fulfill that requirement. Keep moving!

Cereal Girl

I've already talked (here and here) a little about what may have lead me to become an SB... but here's another possibility.

I have always loved the Madonna song 'Material Girl,' ever since I first heard it, albeit in a parody form. I wasn't exactly allowed to listen to Madonna back when she was first coming out, except in forms like the video below.

If you weren't watching Sesame Street in the late 80's/early 90's, you have to see this!



'Cereal Girl' was one of my all-time favorite Sesame Street songs. I used to love, and still do deep down, the muppet girl's hair. And just check out her pearls...

So perhaps it was Sesame Street that got me on the road to being an SB!

SB Fashion

Over the (omg, has it really been that long?) four years since I first entered the sugar world, I've had to pick up some tricks in order to stay on top of my game. I realize looking back over this blog that a lot of my posts are about what an SD should and shouldn't do, so I've decided to start speaking to my sisters in sugar.

So, we're starting with clothing. I'm no fashionista, but I do love and respect clothes and the power they have.

As SBs, our goal is to attract men. We want them to be thinking about us naked, thinking about how much fun they could be having with us. However, we don't want to broadcast that to the rest of the world.

My SB 'uniform' of sorts is a J Crew v-neck cashmere sweater, dark wash jeans, and pointy-toed kitten heels. Heels are a must, for the sound they make on the floor and the general polish they give to a look. I'm tall, so I stick with kitten heels so as not to be intimidating.

If this isn't a first meeting, then the point of the outfit should be that it is sexy, but not overly so, and easy to take off while still looking sexy. Lots of layers or buttons and too tight jeans don't come off in a sexy way. I test an outfit by watching myself take it off in the mirror to see if I look ridiculous. A thin sweater is ideal.

I have in the past been a bit more 'business casual,' depending on what the SD needed, as far as discretion goes. In those cases I lean towards a nice shell and cardigan with black or gray dress pants. J Crew, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic are all good.

Accessories should be kept to a minimum. I have a pretty big bag that I like. It's nice to have room for a pair of flip flops for the walk home or other little things.

Also, a word on girl style versus guy style. That cute shirt dress, those ankle boots? That's girl style. A v-neck tee, tight jeans? That's guy style. An SB needs to dress for guy style. This means low cut, accentuates the waist, flattering clothes. Girl style is trendy and often not very figure-flattering. Save that for going to school or shopping. Guys just don't get leggings or chunky necklaces, even if they are the hot new thing!

The Age Gap

As my tag-line reads, my SDs have all been at a minimum twice my age. It has spoiled me a bit, and now even in my dating life I can't stand the boys my age. I go up at least five years before I even consider a guy.

I've become comfortable around older men. Perhaps even more comfortable than I am with younger men. I'm not talking about men my grandfather's age, or really even my father's age, but men in their 40s or so.

But now I have a new potential who falls outside of that range. A new potential who is intelligent, witty, attractive, and an all around nice guy.

He's 32.

And I honestly see that as a drawback. Strangely enough, I feel less comfortable than if he were 42 or 52. I know what those men want and expect (or I like to think I do!). With this potential, I feel off-balance.

He's young enough to fall into my dating pool, and I think that may be what is most off-putting for me. I want to like my SD, but I don't want to have to worry about it becoming more, emotionally for me.

What's a good SB to do? Be careful, like with everything else in this crazy world!

Hotels do's and don'ts

Hotels become a routine with certain SB/SD arrangements. I've stayed in my fair share of 5-star hotels, but I did my best not to lose my sense of awe at the general opulence and sparkle that they all seem to have. I did however hide my awe as best I could.

For an SB, staying under the radar is key. I often reserved a room just for the day rate, which is a dead giveaway that something unusual is going down for the staff. I've gotten some amused looks and winks, as well as some glares.

Staying under the radar reduces the glares, I've found. I always arrive before my SD and simply text him the room number. This prevents awkwardness at the check-in desk, or at least minimizes it.

Always, and I mean always, put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, especially if you do the day-rate. The middle of the day is when the rooms are all being cleaned, and those cleaning ladies have keys. It's not fun to be walked in on, or have to get up in the middle of getting down to shoo them away. And I've had both happen to me!

Another tip to to dress conservatively. If you're getting there before your SD then you'll have plenty of time to change or take off layers, but this helps prevent the glares.

Finally, calling to make the reservation can be awkward, but doing it online usually means that you can't get a day-rate and you'll probably pay more. I really like Hilton. There are a lot of them in any big city, and often if your first choice doesn't have a day-rate room available the person on the phone will offer you another hotel nearby, at a slight discount for the inconvenience, of course!

Varying degrees of SBs

There are different types of SBs for all different types of SDs needs!

There are the girls who go to events, dinners, parties, and then back to the SDs condo for some fun.

Then the girls who meet in the middle of the day at different hotels with their married SDs. Ordering in room service and chatting on the bed before getting down to bid-ness. ;)

Or there are the girls who meet their SDs in private, at their place, at his place, or at a hotel for some quick fun.

I think all of these variations can be called an SB, and they often blend together based on different factors. At different points I've been a different type! I prefer the second option, but as I've gone farther in my college career that has become increasingly difficult. It is usually the most in-demand type, from what I've seen.

Another type is the travel SB, who either travels because her SD lives far away, or goes along with him on trips for business and pleasure. I've only done this a couple of times, but boy is it fun!

A little too close for comfort

Another story from my past...

I met up with a potential for a quick Starbucks meeting. He was a little late, but had a good excuse, so I let it go. He was charming, witty, handsome, and we had a lot in common. What more could I ask for?

Well, it turns out we had a LOT in common.

I had friends who were alums of his children's grade school. We worked in the same industry. In fact, he knew my boss.

We both played it cool. I think he knew that he had more to lose than I did, but it still scared me! He kept pointing out how the whole '5-degrees of separation' thing clearly was more like 1-degree for us.

He pursued me after the first date, but I sent him a quick email saying it simply wasn't a good fit.

It's amazing how a big city can actually be ridiculously small when you narrow it down to certain circles. A bit scary, to be honest. I now always ask specific questions about a potentials career and stay away from anyone too close to mine!