Baby Steps

I often get asked by potentials how I even thought up being an SB. How did the idea enter into my pretty little head? It's actually a rather interesting story, although this certainly isn't what I tell potentials. Not that I advocate lying... but that's a whole other topic!

It was a confluence of events. Of course, Belle de Jour had already planted the seeds of sex for pay in my mind back in high school. I had a glamorized vision of being a prostitute. Granted, Belle was very lucky, very high end, and worked in England where the legal situation is quite different.

When I first started college I thought about selling/donating my eggs to an infertile couple. I'm quite the catch as far as egg donors go apparently, but as I mentioned before , I absolutely refuse to inflict any unnecessary pain on myself, so twice daily injections for a couple of months wasn't in the cards.

I knew I wanted extra cash though. I'd always been the girl in the middle, with never as much cool stuff as my wealthy friends, although I certainly wasn't poor. I was sick of that. I wanted Hermes. I wanted a nicer ipod. Hell, I just wanted to be able to buy songs on itunes and not illegally download them!

For a women's studies class I took I wrote a paper on the history of concubines in China, compared to the recent uptick in the number of sugar babies there. In the past couple of years there have been a couple of high profile cases of wealthy men and their young, attractive girlfriends. I found the topic fascinating.

So it became my new favorite fantasy. At first I didn't put myself into the role, but slowly I started seeing myself as a girlfriend to a wealthy man.

But how does one meet a wealthy guy, let alone make it clear to him that this 19 year old college student is interested in him? I went to the internet for answers, of course!

And that's how I stumbled across the sites, eventually signing up for one... and the rest is history! Nearly four years later, and I am still happy to be meeting potentials and crossing my fingers that this one is my perfect SD!

Should Have Known Better

I got a message from a guy which just restated the one sentence in his profile. 'I would like to meet someone interesting and attractive.' He only added his personal email address and 'You're really cute. I'm very interested.'

I know better, but I emailed him. Sent another picture, asked him about his profession.

He responds...'Nice, B cup, right?'

Yeah, that's it.

I politely responded back in one sentence letting him know that I was flattered, but would not be continuing the conversation.

Wow.

Oldie, but a Goodie

I'm not using Craigslist this time around. I didn't have any luck there before, so I decided to leave it out of the mix of sites I'm using this time.

My main problem with Craigslist is that you only get the information the SD wants to provide. Often it is only a line or two saying what they want in their SB, and very little or nothing about themselves.

Obviously, this is the internet so anything anyone posts can be false, but even lies tell me something about a potential! Plus, I like to know things like age and height. I do need a certain level of attraction before I seriously consider someone. If you are far out of my age range, then why waste your time and mine?

This time around I'm back with the first site I ever logged into, as well as a new one. The new one I had never even noticed before (and I've checked out a lot of SD sites!). I'm not too optimistic about my chances of finding anyone on that site, but it doesn't hurt. On the old site I immediately had 5 or 6 guys who I've vetted before contact me. I very politely told them that I still wasn't interested, but it was sweet that they messaged me.

My System

When an SB first signs up on a site, she can expect to be inundated with emails (so long as her profile isn't embarrassingly bad). Perhaps this is true for SD's as well, I wouldn't know. I had to start a system to keep track of potentials until I narrow the field down to a manageable level.

I use note cards. Each potential gets a note card. His name, age, height, income, etc go on the card. I leave space at the bottom for notes. For example 'likes to ski,' 'corporate lawyer,' or 'travels to the city 2-3 times a month.' Just a little something to jog my memory.

My current front-runner note cards are...

C., L.A., > $1mil, 6', 45 years, single. Note: PhD level education
A., D.C., >$1mil, 6'3", 40 years, single. Note: works in Finance
J., Chicago, >$1mil, 6', 52 years, married. Note: law degree

On the back I keep track of who contacted who, what date, and what form (email, phone).

So far I'm really liking my potentials. We'll just have to see who breaks away from the pack!

From My Diary Part 2

Con't...

'J was just walking up to the entrance of the bar as I came from the other direction. We had an awkward moment of just staring at each other, and then we introduced ourselves, shaking hands. He's tall, fit, and far more handsome than I thought from his photo!

The bar was elegant and dark. One side was a traditional bar, but most of the room was plush chairs around tables and leather couches around a grand fireplace. He ordered a beer and I got an iced tea. He asked me a couple of questions about school, and I asked him about the trip he was leaving for later that afternoon.

He started talking about his job in finance and that carried the conversation until it was almost time to leave. He explained to me how he went from rich to uber-rich by making a risky investment about five years ago. It was science related, and he glossed over the technical aspects of it. I felt a bit insulted because he seemed to assume that I wouldn't understand even basic scientific principles. We can't all go to an Ivy League school!

We finally got to the real subject.

He said he only wants one girl. He's never done this before, and he wants me to be exclusive. I made sure to say that I don't need the money, that it's more about fun and excitement for me. He wants to 'help' someone, so I played up my tuition costs.

Once we decided to leave it got awkward again. We talked about how nice the hotel is on the way out and in the elevator.

I'm really looking forward to seeing him again!'

...
So there you have it! J was my second SD experience, after M. I knew a bit more, but still honestly had no clue what I was doing. Hopefully that just came off as endearing and not stupid to the guys!

From My Diary

I've decided to do a direct post from my diary of the first time I met my favorite SD, J.

'So I met J yesterday, but before I talk about him I have to talk about the hotel where we met.

A doorman pushed the revolving door for me so I wouldn't even have to touch it! There was a small entryway, very dark, classy, where I walked up to the front desk. They directed me to a bank of elevators.

A bellman led me to the elevators, pushed the button for me, an said 'Have a good day' as the doors opened.

I stepped out into a grand hallway, which I followed to the Lobby. I was so nervous that everything seemed strange, blurry, distant. The lobby was a huge room 5-6 stories up, with an alcove tucked up a floor over the whole room with a cellist playing. A cellist! In the middle of the day! I'm still in awe of everything I saw.

J was no where to be seen, so I ducked into the ladies room. Even the towels looked luxurious. I texted him quickly, and he said he was only a minute away. I composed myself and walked out of the bathroom.'

I'll post more tomorrow! Just wanted to give a sense of what that moment right before feels like.

My First Time Having Sex for Money

I mentioned my first meeting before here and here.

I did end up seeing M again, quite soon after that meeting. Luckily I didn't scare him away with my inexperience and inebriation!

We met at the same bar again, and each had a drink. He had been to the doctor's office earlier in the day, so we talked about his sports injury. I originally thought he would have to cancel because he had been through minor surgery in the office that day, but he was insistent that we meet anyway.

Almost the second we stepped through the door of his condo we were at it. We had the quick mumbled convo about birth control (pill and condoms!) and before I knew it I was naked, laying across his bed!

Please keep in mind how terribly, terribly inexperienced I was at this point in my life! This is certainly not what I consider an 'ideal' meeting!

He went down on me, something I had never before experienced (ahem, college guys suck at sex). I didn't know what to do, and honestly was a bit uncomfortable. When it was my turn to reciprocate I was relieved.

M was average sized, nothing extraordinary, but certainly not disappointing. The sex was average as well, lasting perhaps 5 minutes, in missionary.

We talked for a while after. I was a bit inebriated (again). He asked if I'd ever thought about getting implants. I responded that if they ever find a way to make implants pain-free I'll be first in line! Until then, there's no way I'd ever agree to unnecessary pain. I have very low pain tolerance.

We got dressed, and he walked me out. In the elevator he handed me an envelope, and said he hoped it was enough. We hadn't discussed money at all beforehand. He joked that it was probably the easiest money I'd ever make, and I nervously laughed with him.

Certainly not a terrible first time, however I learned a lot from it (when I sobered up).

Funny note: When I got home 20 minutes later I ran into a friend on my way into my building. She grabbed me and made me go out for a snack with her and a bunch a friends. The whole time all I could think was 'Please dear god don't let them figure out that I'm tipsy... or notice the economy pack of condoms in my bag!' I got away with it somehow!

Belle de Jour

Belle de Jour, the up-until-yesterday anonymous ex-call girl who wrote tons of books about her experiences, has always been an idol of mine.

I read her first book when I was in high school. It sat on my shelf after that for a few years before I moved to college. As I was packing up, I sat and re-read a couple of my favorite parts. I eventually found out that it was originally a blog. I read the entire thing in just a couple of days. Belle seeped into my consciousness. She's part of the reason I first decided to sign up for one of the sites, but that's another post.

The Times wrote a great article about Belle, at least in my opinion. She outed herself, although there were certainly reasons why she did it now (ex-boyfriend, press catching on). I hope that the paps don't ruin her life. I think the best possible outcome would be that now all the mystery is over, everyone gets bored and leaves her alone.

It's very motivating to me to see someone like Belle, who has a PhD and is doing amazing work for kids with cancer. It makes me realize that so long as I don't let myself get pulled in too far, this can all be just a bit of fun, and when I want to move on I can. Certainly Belle is going to face some negative consequences, but I have no plans on becoming famous like her or to write a book. This blog is really more for myself to keep track of my thoughts than anything else.

So, best of luck to Belle/Brooke! I'm glad to finally know who she is after all these years, but I never wished for her to be forcibly exposed. I hope that her decision to come out now is for the best and that she never regrets anything!

Hello Darlings!

I've been gone for a while. Just needed to sort things out. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't been and active SB for nearly a year. However, all that is changing.

I'm back on the prowl!

So, I will be posting again, hopefully fairly frequently, all about my new search for the perfect SD. I already have quite a few potentials lined up, and can't wait to tell you about them!