Special Things

I think a big part of what I do as an SB is remember special little things that the men I see like.

One man is permanently over-hydrated, so I always make sure that before he arrives I set out a glass of water.

Another guy is really into earrings. I always make sure to wear a different, new pair for him. He likes to lick and play with them.

Another guy is really into his nipples. I have never experienced this before, but he can actually come from nipple-play alone! I've gotten really good with mens nipples thanks to him!

Or there's the guy who just wants me to give him a hand job until he comes across my stomach. For him I make sure that I have a towel close by.

There was another guy who always seemed to be hot, so I would sacrifice my own personal comfort and turn down the temperature any time I saw him.

For all the guys, after I see them I write down what we talked about so I remember for the next time and can ask questions about their jobs and children.

These are things that I just picked up on. The SDs didn't tell me that they like earrings, or nipple play, I just figured it out and made it a special thing for him. I think that's a huge part of what an SB does.

I'm a safety kinda gal

Safety is huge for me. If I get a funny feeling about a guy, I cancel. I avoid risks, because meeting SDs is risky, just like any type of online dating.

One guy who I was talking to set off some major alarm bells when we were setting up our first meeting. He asked if I wanted to meet at his condo for a drink before dinner. I said I preferred to meet at the restaurant instead. He seemed cool about it at first.

Then he starts telling me about how he thinks it's great when a girl is confident enough to just go over to a guys place before meeting him. He said he thought it showed that she was cool and really interested in him.

I was stunned. Personally, I think that any girl who does that is an idiot just asking for trouble. Clearly he doesn't actually intend to make it to dinner when he's already got you in his condo drinking wine.

I ended up canceling on him. He eventually agreed to meet me at the restaurant, but I still wasn't comfortable after having had that conversation with him. Also, he lived very close to me. Even though it's a big city, it still made me a bit nervous!

Pavlov's Dog

So, this isn't really about being an SB. You've been warned!

I've been seeing my current boyfriend for a couple of months now. We are very sexually active! As with all new guys, I had to get used to some of the things he likes to do.

I wasn't really into neck kissing, but it seems to be one of his favorite things to do. At first, I was just happy that he wasn't leaving any marks (major turn-off!).

Well, the last time he and I were together, when he started kissing my neck, all of a sudden I felt different. I felt a rush of wetness! I was enjoying it!!

I have to wonder now though if I was actually enjoying the neck kissing, or if it was simply that after a couple of months of neck kissing leading to more fun things, my body responded just as Pavlov's dogs responded to the bell.

Te only reason I thought of this is because the story of Pavlov was used as an example in class the other day. I'd rather think that I am actually just becoming more comfortable with him and having sex with him, and that is leading to me being more turned on.

A Side Effect...

In an arrangement, I put up with all sorts of stuff that I wouldn't in a relationship.


I think that a side-effect of having arrangements is that I have become more accommodating in my relationships. When my boyfriend is late, I brush it off. When he calls me up and gives me no notice but wants to hang out, I go along with it. When he cancels our plans, or is distracted while we're watching a movie, I just laugh about it. I even have encouraged him to check his Blackberry while we're having dinner.

I never used to be like that.

It's the SD mindset. The man can't be wrong. Whatever he wants, I have to go along with it, whether I want to or not. And if I don't want to, or if he's annoying me, or if I'm pissed off, I never show it. I keep it all inside and pretend like everything is perfect.

Luckily for my current boyfriend, he gets away with it all because I honestly care for him. It doesn't matter if I'm mad while waiting for him because the second he kisses me hello, it melts away.

Maybe this means I'm building the relationship on a shaky foundation, but for now it's working, and in general he is a perfect gentleman.

That's another side effect, albeit a positive one. I am not attracted to assholes anymore. If you don't take care of me (paying for dinner, opening doors, giving me a ride home) I won't give you the time of day. I know that I am worth it now!

I'm Sorry!

I love when men apologize after sex. OK, not really, because I never have any idea what to say. But afterwards, when I'm back home alone, I always have a good laugh over it. It's always for some perceived inability; not keeping it hard, not going long enough.

He's not an SD, but my current boyfriend apologized once for his lack of stamina...after going for 25 minutes! With him I actually laughed right then and there and told him just how silly he was being! Granted, he does normally go longer, but 25 minutes is certainly nothing to be ashamed of!

With an SD though I do find it a bit ridiculous. You should never feel the need to apologize for anything, let alone for something like that, where to be honest I usually am happy if you finish a little faster than normal.

One SD came after maybe 5-7 minutes and after he caught his breath apologized for it being so short. "Normally I can go a lot longer, but I had minor surgery on my throat this morning, and I think I am still a bit woozy from the meds." The fact that you were able to get it up at all should be a triumph! Don't apologize!!

And, of course, I mentioned earlier about Mr D, who apologized after his little bout of food poisoning-induced diarrhea caused us to have to call it quits. I still got money, and I got to bed a lot earlier than I had planned on! No complaints from my end!

The hardest part is what to say! I don't want to sound like I'm lying by over-doing it, but I also can't rightly say 'trust me honey, it wasn't doing much for me anyway.' I wish there was a perfect answer for this!

Married Men Tips and Tricks

With married SDs I really have to be careful. I don't mean that I have to worry about my safety. I have to worry about doing anything which might alert their wife to their extramarital activities.

The biggest rule is to never wear perfume! This is a dead give-away. This includes everything from my favorite Jo Malone spray to scented body lotion. I have found the greatest unscented lotion ever, and it sits next to my regular lotion ready for my married SD to call.

Another thing to be careful about is leaving any sort of mark during sex. I don't normally leave marks during sex, but it is still something to keep in mind!

Discretion is key. Most married SDs want to meet during the day at hotels (I don't bring SDs to my place). This means I book the hotel, I check in, and then I text him with the room number. All he has to do is knock on the door! When we leave, it's up to him how careful he wants to be. Some want to leave at seperate times, whereas with my one long-term SD we went down in the elevator together, but then seperated. I had to check out at the front desk, and he had to get his ass into a cab and back to work asap!

Texting is prefered over calling. He can get back to me whenever is most convienient for him. I also only call or text during work hours, and certainly never on weekends.

A little more about me!

I've talked a bit about myself before, but never really laid out what it is I am offering to these men.

I am a full-time college student at a pretty good school (if I do say so myself). I am not a liberal-arts major, but rather in a professional program. I am very involved on campus in many different groups and I have a great bunch of friends, from school, work, and elsewhere. I do not do any sort of drugs, although I do drink occasionally, but never binge drink.

All in all I think that I have a very bright future ahead of me!

I am also fairly attractive, although I am not a total stunner and I know it. I am taller than average, but my body will never be model thin. I have long hair, but not barbie-doll blonde. What I'm trying to say is that physically I don't stand out too much, but I am still attractive. In general these men want the traditional standards of beauty, and I have those. I am never dressed too flashy and I never draw more attention to myself than necessary. And that's how they want it (if they're married, like most are).

I had a normal childhood in a suburban area. I went to private schools starting with preschool and education was always stressed. My family is upper-middle class. There were richer kids in my high school, but there were poorer ones too. I was right in the middle.

I have a good relationship with both my parents, if a very traditional one. I love my siblings with everything I have and I'd like to think I've been a good older sister.

This is what sells in the SD/SB world. A normal, everyday, girl-next door type. If I had blonde hair I would be the perfect SB!

Maybe I'll consider dying it...naw!

Giving Craigslist a Shot

I mentioned earlier that I responded to a couple of craigslist postings, and was interested in one or two of the men. Well, one pulled a 'my ex and I got back together' just six hours before our first meeting was scheduled. The other could only meet during the day, so it took me a bit longer to set up a time to meet him.

Boy, am I glad we had that extra week to talk over email before I wasted my time on him!

Normally I am not big on talking about money or sex before we meet, but he asked so I told him what my allowance was with my previous SD. His email in response was hilarious!

'Wow. That's a whole other league.'

He then tells me that with his previous SB he gave her less than half what I asked for, and met up twice a week! It boils down to less that $200 each meeting!!

I quickly responded that I didn't think we were suitable, not because of the money but because my schedule does not allow me to meet up more than 3 or 4 times a month. And, of course, I wished him the best of luck.

Sometimes I am just amazed with how much men want for so little. I suppose he saw an SB as a sort of bulk-buy escort. Give her an allowance and maybe, just maybe, she won't notice that it's a total ripoff. Too bad for him I'm not lying when I say I'm a college student, and I can quickly figure out if he's worth it or not.

Oh, and I wasn't lying about not being able to meet twice a week. I would have had to turn him down even if the money would have been adequate.